It occurred to me today that we are not teaching our boys how to play the game of life. We teach them manners, we teach them how to ride a bike, but the thing we are not teaching them explicitly is how to go through life without coming up against obsticles that will piss them off and cause them to get themselves into trouble.
I spent this morning with two 5/6 classes and the boys especially didn’t really get that for them to fly under the radar, they needed to look like they were doing some work, not talking to their mates and accomplishing something from the lesson. Instead some thought because I am really old– well, really old compared to them, that I wouldn’t notice that they had two screens up on the computer, one with a game and one with their work, and that when my back was turned away from them they could switch between screens and play or look at something that they would rather do instead of the task at hand.
I used the one analogy with one boy about his mum nagging him to do something, that if he did the task instead of fighting the request, he would probably come out on top in the situation, by looking good in his mums eyes and probably being able to do something he wanted to do after completing the task she wanted done.
I explained to this boy that life was about give and take, compromise was the name of the game in most situations– most reasonable people, be it your mum, boss, teacher, sister, father or gran all want a favourable outcome in most situations, and people learn as they grow that to get a common favourable outcome—- you need to compromise.
Maybe the research about boys brains has got the timing wrong and they do think that the world revolves around them far longer than we thought—- or maybe it is just some kids who think this because of the way they have been raised by their parents.